If we are serious about our happiness we need to know how to Practically Overcome Desire.  To achieve this, we need an understanding of what it is and why we even should consider doing so.  In order to do this, I will be drawing upon the advice of Meditation Master Joseph Goldstein.

Why Practically Overcome Desire?

The Buddha said that he didn’t see any fetter as strong as craving (desire) that binds us to the wheel of Samsara.

When the mind is trained properly in shining our mindful awareness on our desires, we develop the superpower of not being ruled by them. When we do, we become more focused on the present task; we make better decisions, and we take control of our lives.

Without shining awareness onto them, they run rampant.  What does this look like? It could mean not stealing your housemates final cookie, but could also mean not cheating on your wife.  Therefore, to safeguard ourselves from these sorts of things we need the nourishment of Buddhist tools and wisdom.

Understanding what Desire is:

The Buddha pointed us directly to two categories of desire that keep us wrapped in suffering, The Craving for Sense Pleasures and The Craving for Becoming (In this case is craving used interchangeably with desire).

The Craving for Sense Pleasures:

The mind deceives us at a surprising rate.  It executes primal orders thousands of times per day with the promise that their gratification will make us happy, whole and complete. 

How?  Through seeking pleasantries through one of the six sense doors.  These sense doors are sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and thoughts (thoughts are included in the Buddhist sense framework).   However, even when we intellectually know we won’t find lasting gratification from eating the 13^th cookie, we nonetheless fall victim to the mind’s commands.

The Craving for Becoming:

The craving for becoming is wishing we were something or someone else.  This may be as subtle as postural movements of the body to free back pain, upwards to comparing ourselves to the rich and famous.  In the age of social media, this desire is common.  You that won’t find any shortage of anxious or depressed teenagers comparing themselves to social media pop superstars.

You’ll never reach a point in your life where everything is solved, all neatly tied up in a bow. That’s the point. There’s no ‘final scene,’ only the ongoing adventure movie, forever unresolved.  – Jeff Foster

Practically Overcome Desire:

The reality is there are many strategies for doing this.  Drawing from the advice of Meditation Master Joseph Goldstein, I will now present a model of working with Desire.

1. Shine the light of awareness on the Desire.
2. Accept its presence.
3. Use wise questions and discernment to escape its grips.

Let’s look at this model a little closer.

1. Shine the light of awareness on the Desire.

It’s first important to first recognize when a desire is present.  Some desires will be very obvious and a strong feeling of ‘thirsting’ will be present.  Perhaps imagining the feeling of walking in the desert, dehydrated on a 40^oC day before stumbling across a refreshing pool of water may be helpful in realizing the gripping feeling some of our desires behold.  However, others will be extremely subtle and will need closer introspection and awareness. 

For these subtle desires, it’s helpful to become familiar with our habits.  That morning coffee, that hot shower of a morning, that impulse to check your phone.  What would it be like to all of a sudden not have access to these?  Pay attention to the barriers the mind throws up at this possibility.   Only when we identify these attachments can we become aware enough of them when encountering these events in the future. 

2. Accept its Presence

We can then accept the presence of desire – perhaps with the phrase “Desire is present”.

3. Use wise questions and discernment to escape its grips.

From this place, a very powerful question to ask is:  What are the drawbacks of satisfying this desire?  When we’re starving on a Friday night and our roommates offer to shout us pizza, how often can we ask ourselves:  What are the drawbacks? This is no picnic, but if we wish to train the mind and take control this is necessary. 

Of course, we can have the pizza.  But pausing, asking the question and creating space instead of obeying the minds reptilian commands is what’s important.  When we train the mind to do this, we can make wiser decisions.  To let it go, or indulge.  Perhaps it’s wise to recall that some of the happiest in the world are holy men who have renounced everything.  These are those who appreciate impermanence – that there is nothing that truly will gratify us in the long term and will make us happy.

In terms of the craving for becoming, the same process of recognition is key.  Are we reviving the past or longing for something in the future?  When we catch ourselves doing this, we can accept that this is what the mind was doing.  From this place, we can bring ourselves back to the present – if only for a moment.  Here, we move forward in the best way that we know how with whatever tools available to us.

Repeatedly using these strategies, we de-condition the Craving mind and show Desire who’s in charge.  We suffer unimaginably less.  We find true happiness. 

Which is what we’re all seeking, right?